It was so terrible the day my grandfather passed away……I love him so much……I wrote this story in his memorial.
I will never forget the day my grandfather passed away.......it was so terrible......it happened on January 2nd, 2012. Yes, I am writing this story one day after he died. I am still very sensitive because of what happened and I like to express my feelings when I write. It makes me feel better. Besides, I do want to write something dedicated to my grandfather.....he has always been so good to my sister and me. When we were younger, he used to be the one that took care of us when mom and dad had to work or, for some other reason, couldn’t watch us. I still remember that grandpa and I used to watch television together! I even remember that in the day that the Twin Tours suffered the terrorist attack, grandpa and I spent a long time watching the news. To be honest with you, I was watching it only because my cartoons were interrupted and I thought, for a while, that they would be transmitted again (please, don't judge me! I was only 8 years old! I didn't even know what a terrorist attack was!). I also remember that he scolded me sometimes......to tell the truth, he kept doing that even after I grew older......The last time he scolded me was about a month ago! Yes, he was very ill.....but even so he scolded me because I was arguing with my mom! He was such a strong man! Even though he was very ill, he had the strength to scold me! Of course I didn't say anything to him.....I let he scold me....but I won't lie to you, I felt angry at the time! Now, though, I am glad that he did it....after all, now I can remember exactly the last time he scolded me! You may find it strange, but I don't care whether he was angry with me or not.....the more remembrances I have of him, the better is!
He was 79 years old when he died from leukemia. He had been suffering of this disease for eight or seven months.....he went to hospital so many times! Suffered so much! Went through so much pain! My mom and her siblings were so worried.....they did everything they could for grandpa to stay alive as long as possible! Even though mommy new that her father would probably die soon, she, like anybody else, wasn't prepared to the moment itself.....like I said, it's very sad to remember this day.....It was three o’clock in the morning and I was the only one in the house that was still awake. I was in the computer when I heard mom's cell phone ringing. She woke up and answered the call. It was someone in the hospital (grandpa were alone in hospital because he was under a severe treatment and even the relatives can’t stay with the patients). He told mom to take any of my grandfather’s personal documents to the hospital. And she had to do it at the time. No waiting. He didn't say the reason and mommy didn't have the courage to ask. But there was no need to ask. She already knew the reason. When mom turned off the phone, I noticed that she was breathing loud and fast and she looked really scared. She woke my father up and explained him that they had to go to hospital. Before they left, father told me to go to bed. I obeyed him, but do you really think I could sleep? Like mom, I was very scared and shocked! I spent three hours trying to sleep.....I could only sleep by six o' clock in the morning! Mom and dad woke me up three hours later, by nine o'clock. My grandfather had died and we would go to the funeral.
I had never been to a funeral before.....fortunately, nobody close to me had died.....until that moment.....almost everyone, including me, bursted into tears when we saw grandpa lying in the open coffin! He was surrounded by yellow flowers and there was a white veil covering his body. He was with a strange appearance: his skin looked yellow and his face and hands were swollen. Mom said it was because of the products that were used in the embalming.
As the hours passed, more and more people were arriving: grandfather's relatives, some of his friends and acquaintances. Every time that someone arrived and hugged my mom and my aunts, they started crying.....and when I saw them crying, I wanted to cry too.
The time of the burial was coming, so I stood near the coffin for a long time, looking grandpa......I touched (yes, I touched him!) his face gently.....his face that once was so warm and ruddy, now became cold and yellowish....I also touched his hands.....his hands that so many times I hold and that so many times wrapped me in an embrace, now wouldn’t move anymore....I touched his chest too.....his chest in which once I heard the heartbeat....from that day on, would remain in silence forever.....
The time for the burial came......a lot of people started to cry, but this time I didn't cry. They took my grandfather's to the grave and, while his body was been buried, some people started crying, but, I didn’t cry this time either. Perhaps I have cried so much that my tears have finished, I thought. But then I realized that the reason was that I wasn't so sad at the moment. I was thinking that now my grandpa would rest in peace. I mean, he suffered so much.....and let's face it, it must be so terrible to be ill all the time, to go to hospital every other week, to constantly need a blood transfusion, to go through a lot of pain frequently and barely be able to walk and go out of the bed......that is not life! He is probably in a better place now. I try to remind me of that whenever I start crying because of him (just because I didn't cry at the time of the burial, it doesn't mean I wouldn't cry for him anymore). Anyway, I do believe he is in a better place now. And I hope I will meet him someday.
Kisses, Tati.
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